Escape From LA (& NY)

101 minutes, 1996, Written by John Carpenter/Debra Hill/Kurt Russell, Directed by John Carpenter, Starring - Kurt Russell, Stacy Keach, Cliff Robertson, Michelle Forbes, Pam Grier, Peter Fonda, Steve Buscemi, Georges Corraface, A.J. Langer, Valeria Golino, Paul Bartel, Bruce Campbell, Robert Carradine & about 80 stunt people.

Bonesaw thinks
this film is

Ratings Key

I'm in love with this film. When I feel like this, I tend to over-hype to the point of ruin. I'll try not do it this time, but don't say I didn't warn you.

It's okay, I'll wait right here.

Where to start... I loved this film before I ever saw it. Why? John Carpenter directing again. John Carpenter and Debra Hill writing again, but this time with Kurt Russell. Produced by Debra Hill again, ditto Kurt Russell. Appearances by Steve Buscemi, Stacy Keach, Pam Grier, Peter Fonda and Bruce Campbell, just to name a few. Rick Baker doing make-up F/X ("American Werewolf in London"). Lawrence G. Paull doing production design ("Blade Runner"). AND Snake D. Plissken, again! Why would you want this? Because you loved it the first time...

...so much that in 1981 when Escape From NY (EFNY) came out you made your boyfriend let you dress him up like the Duke of NY's A Numbah One wacko sidekick for Halloween.

And now you get to do it all over again, but different. It's pure. Just the way the principals wanted it. No blathering Armani-warhead interruptions.

I hookied outta slave labor to see the very first showing (1:15 pm) last Friday, on opening day. Escape From LA (EFLA) opened at the new Mega-Moby-Uber-Plex just a few towns away. I loathed the strip-mall like lobby, but I broke out in a leprous sweat when I saw the wrap-around screen. I spent the entire film building up a slow whiplash. My neck pivoted 90 degrees left/right/up/down. Anybody have the number for Linda Blair's chiropractor? It was just me and 2 other people in the place! I talked, I laughed, I screamed. It was huge. The opening credits were perfect future-tech and deliciously varied. It confirmed what I already knew: I would never get enough. After the movie I had to sit out in the parking lot and smoke the shakes away before I could leave. When I could finally drive I screeched into my local video store (must watch Snake) to get more. Isn't that beautiful? You can go out and rent more!

The all-around hype is that Snake Plissken was Kurt Russells' favorite roll, the only costume he ever kept. He's wearing it the first time we see him in EFLA. Same weathered brown leather and black muscle t-shirt with silver zippers on the shoulders. Its weird, I never noticed in EFNY how the zipper tabs point to his jugular and carteroid arteries as if to say, "fuck with me here." The same black, white and grey camouflage pants, black belt, black boots with metal kneepads and the hotter-than-lava eye patch. Yeah, it all still fits. The clothes they pour him into for EFLA are pure leather boy. The website refers to the costume as "stealthy".

He is SO Lobo. If you've read the comic, you know what I mean. Frag.

John Carpenter and Company like their format. Same opening sequence all shiny and new. Same female, future, nothin'- but- business, deadpan, narration voice served up by Jamie Lee Curtis.

The idea of island as prison works real good in EFNY, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how they'd isolate LA. I flew to LA in May and as we landed, all I saw was a big chunk of flat-land. Welp, they figured it out and it works for me.

Before you're exiled to the LA Maximum Security Facility, you have the option of electrocution (in EFNY, cremation).

The head government appointed militia hoo-ha is Stacy Keach sportin' the updated eagle logo.

(I had the pleasure of seeing him on Broadway in "Solitary Confinement." It only ran for six months. As I read the Playbill I didn't recognize any of the other thespians or any of their previous works listed in the bios. Figured Stacy was doing them all a favor. His performance was 100% projection, upstage, theater-trained, play to the balcony bliss. Carve him up and serve him at Easter.

After the performance, the lights went down and we all went berserk for the curtain call. Out comes Stacy Keach. He graciously took his bows and ran backstage. Next character, Stacy Keach. What? And the next and the next and the next. Stacy Keach. He was the whole fucking play! First slack-jawed surprise, then the sound of a million pages flapping as every Playbill in the theatre got devoured. The actors and the bios were fake. A few of the characters were pre-taped and on video monitors that were choreographed to interact with the real-time Stacy Keach. Talk about make-up!)

Oh, and let's not forget lizard-boy in "Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams." He never cracked a grin in EFLA but I kept hoping. It must have been so hard for him. The out takes must be a rip.

Compared to the way Donald Pleasance handled Snake and The-Duke-of-NY-A-Numbah-ONE, the new President is a complete weasel. Mr. Carpenter, are you all right? Your hope for the future seems grizzled beyond repair. I guess by the next film we'll helplessly watch as Satan pushes the button and it'll be all our fault cause we put him there.

The continuity of the decay of the sacred cobra tattoo is impressive. I'd like to know who the tattoo artists were who painted the snake on Snake. You only get to taste it once when he changes into the new clothes but you won't need to eat again for weeks.

In EFNY, Lee Van Cliff gave Snake 24 hours -woops, sorry pal- 22 hours 59 minutes and 57 seconds to accomplish his mission. He gets 10 hours in EFLA.

In the beginning of both EFNY and EFLA, when Snake first realizes that there's no turning back, he scans the rubble, and joila! The fates have provided him with a working "I'm- just- gonna- sit- here- for- a- while- I'm- so- fucked" chair.

What can I say about Pam Grier except that her collaboration with the sound people is pure art.

Steve Buscemi is "Map to the Stars Eddie." He wasn't my favorite in this film. I think I'm spoiled from "Reservoir Dogs," Living in Oblivion," "Fargo" and a great Harvey Oswald-like role in the T.V. show "Homicide." I have it on tape. (If you want a copy, send me a VCR and a blank tape and I'll dupe it for you.)

A.J. Langer ("My So Called Life") plays "Utopia," the President's Daughter. Michelle Forbes (cool photographer in "Kalifornia" & Coroner in "Homicide") plays Stacy Keaches right hand, "Brazen." Bruce Campbell plays the "Surgeon General" (you'd never know it). I missed Paul Bartel completely until I read the credits. You need to rent "Scenes From the Class Struggle of Beverly Hills." Mr. Bartel stars and directs. If you're a "Star Trek" fan and you like (forgive my phonetic spelling) "Chikotey," you'll love him as "Juan the Houseboy." Peter Fonda plays "Pipeline."

Anybody remember the LUST guy in Se7en with the killer boy bone? That's Leland Orser and he plays the equivalent of Harry Dean Stanton's "Brain" character in EFNY. We only see him for a minute. Not to worry, this is the second time I've seen him since Se7en and I have a feeling it won't be the last. I'm right about this, just like I was right about Michael Wincott. Just a feeling. If time allows, maybe I'll let you in on my Michael Wincott shrine. My Mother says that a common quote in her day was that Richard Burton's voice was so intoxicating, he could read the phone book and make it exciting. Michael Wincott is my Richard Burton.

The scene that had me howling lasted for only a second. I'm real glad no one was sitting next to me at the time. Let's just say Snake is way off to the right, in the back, behind a lot of other people, being viewed through a computer monitor. Another riotous out take possibility. Guffaw.

The fact that EFLA is extremely similar to EFNY doesn't spoil one damn thing. What's recognized is nostalgic and what's new is delicious fun. Just pay the man and get on the ride.

In closing, I have some advice. More than once I've heard people say that they avoid movie theatres due to loud mouthed assholes. Guess what? If you go to the right techno-palace, you can't hear the person you came with when they scream right into your ear. Digital Dolby is the bandaid on your Lilliputian attention span. Get another excuse.